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Remember being young and in love? When you first get together you just can't get enough of the other person. You want to spend every spare second of the day with them. You can't think of anyone else that you would want to spend your time with. Being inseparable is wonderful until...
someone has to fart.
You remember that right? Having to hold it all in when your guts are just crying for some relief! Guys, they have it a little easier don't they? After all, we expect them to cut one in front of us at sometime or another. But us ladies - we have to keep up the pretense that farting is something that we absolutely do NOT do. Especially if its in front of the guy that we are newly madly in love with. Because if we did let one rip that would surely send any man running for the hills in pure disgust. Well, thankfully, Oscar isn't your average man.
Let me set the scene, it was a few months into our relationship and things were going great. SO great. I was definitely in love with this manboy. Doing what young lovers do we went out to dinner and a movie one evening. For the life of me I can't remember where we had dinner but I do remember that it was delicious! I stuffed myself silly! After dinner, was the movie - I have no idea what the movie was either. Anyhow- it was eleven years ago so there is no way I am gonna remember all the details.
The evening was going so well. During the movie my stomach had settled a bit and I was feeling much better - not that overstuffed feeling. We had gotten back into the car and were on our way back to his place, excited to well, you know. The parking lot had a few speed bumps on the way out....
Right as Oscar went over the speed bump...(insert loud fart noise here).. came from ME! It was one of those unexpected, I had no idea it was coming kind of farts. Seriously if I knew I would have turned the music up loud or something, at the very least try to hold it in!
Immediately Oscar looked at me and smiled. He said, "Did you just fart?". I turned beat red, I was so embarrassed! There was no denying it. After all there were only two of us in the car and he knew he didn't do it! There was nothing I could do but giggle and sheepishly answer, "yes."
Then came the words I will never forget, "I am so glad that you were the first one to fart! I have been holding it in forever! Now that you've done it and gotten it out of the way I don't have to hold it in anymore! In fact, neither do you. Just let it all out - don't hold back!".
This was the moment that brought us closer together. I knew that I would be with this guy forever. Wow! He loved me so much that a fart didn't scare him off, he was actually encouraging this foul behavior!
Had I known then the powerful smell that was about to be unleashed on me for the rest of my life I may not have been so thankful....