True Story Tuesday - Fart Bump

12:00 AM Posted by Kimberly@PrettyPinkMomma

To link up and check out other True Stories go visit Once Upon a Miracle.

Remember being young and in love? When you first get together you just can't get enough of the other person. You want to spend every spare second of the day with them. You can't think of anyone else that you would want to spend your time with. Being inseparable is wonderful until...

someone has to fart.

You remember that right? Having to hold it all in when your guts are just crying for some relief! Guys, they have it a little easier don't they? After all, we expect them to cut one in front of us at sometime or another. But us ladies - we have to keep up the pretense that farting is something that we absolutely do NOT do. Especially if its in front of the guy that we are newly madly in love with. Because if we did let one rip that would surely send any man running for the hills in pure disgust. Well, thankfully, Oscar isn't your average man.

Let me set the scene, it was a few months into our relationship and things were going great. SO great. I was definitely in love with this manboy. Doing what young lovers do we went out to dinner and a movie one evening. For the life of me I can't remember where we had dinner but I do remember that it was delicious! I stuffed myself silly! After dinner, was the movie - I have no idea what the movie was either. Anyhow- it was eleven years ago so there is no way I am gonna remember all the details.

The evening was going so well. During the movie my stomach had settled a bit and I was feeling much better - not that overstuffed feeling. We had gotten back into the car and were on our way back to his place, excited to well, you know. The parking lot had a few speed bumps on the way out....

Right as Oscar went over the speed bump...(insert loud fart noise here).. came from ME! It was one of those unexpected, I had no idea it was coming kind of farts. Seriously if I knew I would have turned the music up loud or something, at the very least try to hold it in!

Immediately Oscar looked at me and smiled. He said, "Did you just fart?". I turned beat red, I was so embarrassed! There was no denying it. After all there were only two of us in the car and he knew he didn't do it! There was nothing I could do but giggle and sheepishly answer, "yes."

Then came the words I will never forget, "I am so glad that you were the first one to fart! I have been holding it in forever! Now that you've done it and gotten it out of the way I don't have to hold it in anymore! In fact, neither do you. Just let it all out - don't hold back!".

This was the moment that brought us closer together. I knew that I would be with this guy forever. Wow! He loved me so much that a fart didn't scare him off, he was actually encouraging this foul behavior!

Had I known then the powerful smell that was about to be unleashed on me for the rest of my life I may not have been so thankful....
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  1. Rachel said...

    Oh sister - I think we all feel your pain (in more ways than one)!

    His reaction was so funny! Definitely a keeper!

    But I totally cracked up at your last line... isn't that something that every woman realizes at some point? hee hee

    Thanks for linking up!!

  2. Alicia said...

    OH MY GOSH...I'M TOTALLY CRACKING UP OVER HERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Soooo funny!!!!!!!!!

  3. Susan said...

    That was soooo funny! Now, that's love!

  4. Foursons said...

    Oscar sounds so much like my hubby. Bawahahahaha! Those darn speed bumps, they'll getcha every time.

  5. Shell said...


    I knew I'd be with you forever after we farted...LMAO

  6. Just Stacy said...

    Almost 3 years in with T-Bone and I haven't yet let anything besides the silent ones slide AWAKE!! Sleeping is another story, and it will be next weeks TST for sure! Very funny, thank you.

  7. Lady J said...

    I love it. That's the stuff of true intimacy (gross as that sounds) but the comfort of being yourself in a relationsihop is second to none. You've found yourself a keeper! (Now, feel free to send one MY

    Love your blog.....I think I'll just follow along :)

  8. The Blue Zoo said...

    LOL This just cracked me up!! I STILL havent farted in front of my husband. And we've been together for 8 years! Although he says I do in my sleep.

  9. sheila said...

    OMG, LOL! ha ha ha ha! I've been married 21 yrs now and I don't think I've ever full on fart in front of him. How weird is that?

    I love that can't remember the movie or what you ate, but the fart stayed with you all these years! BEAUTIFUL! ha ha ha!

  10. Queen of Quite A Lot said...

    That's hilarious! I've been with That Man more than 3 years now and have yet to let one rip...that he knows about. Although I do seem to recall just recently having one escape without my permission in Sears. I was thankful he was on the other side of the department when all of a sudden he appeared around the corner and said "Was that you?" Now being the proper Southern girl I am, I lied. I told him no, I thought it was him but realized it was that kid laughing over there...the innocent kid watching something on his DS and laughing. Yep, I blamed it on some random kid and That Man made more than one comment about that kid needing to get checked out. My record is still unbroken ~ HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

  11. The Jacobsen Family! said...

    LOL! I know I wasn't the first one to do that in our relationship, but I dont care now. My mom never ever could do that in front of my dad! So funny to me.
    As for the stench we live with forever... I'm surprised I'm not dead yet.

  12. Pam said...

    LOL...I love it. To funny.

  13. Susie said...

    I held mine in for the first two years of our marriage:-)

  14. Kmama said...

    Oh my goodness. That is hilarious!!! I just read it to my hubs and he had a good laugh too.

  15. Tammy said...

    You crack me up girl! You need to write a book with all these stories.

  16. Helene said...

    Oh Kimberly, this story is hilarious!!! I loved his reaction...I would've died!!! He was definitely a keeper!!

    I remember when I was dating my ex-husband, I spent the night at his place one night. I must have farted in my sleep because in the morning he told me about it and he was laughing hysterically. I went home and told my roommates that I never wanted to see him again, I was that embarrassed. They convinced me that I was being lame about the whole thing. So I continued to date him.

    Yeah, and now i have them to thank for me marrying the jerk.

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